Afraid

Afraid

PxHere

PxHere

Small.
small.
small.
I'm getting smaller,
But no—wait! I'm getting taller.
Memories are disappearing;
This is exactly what I'm fearing.

What if I just start forgetting? 
Let me tell you what I'm fretting!

What if I were to just stop speaking? 
What if my lungs did not feel like breathing? 
WHY DO YOU KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING? 
Why do I feel like I am shrinking?

And I wash away my shame with fear. 
And tell no one of what I hear. 
And—
“No, that's not how this is supposed to go.”

God, am I making a good show? 

I'm afraid. 
I'm afraid. 
You all know that I'm afraid. 
The freaking title is "Afraid." 
Is this good, what I have made? 

And I'm afraid of many things. 
If I do name them, what do I bring? 
Bring to the table—
Now I start... 
To the table—
A work of art. 

Even a demon can ask for redemption,
But getting it requires a pension. 
Sadly, things just won't work out
As blood flows freely from your mouth. 

Small.
small. 
small.
I'm getting smaller, 
And look at that! Who’s falling farther?
And as I look down at my file, 
Do you know it’s been a while? 

Off a building...  
Oh, I wish. 
Off a building, 
Off a cliff. 

- Rae
Instagram: @poetry.rae