I’m not in control of my life. Between my parents telling me what I can and can’t do, my school taking away my ambition, and my peers trying to shape who I am, I feel like I have no say in who I am becoming.
I try to fight it, but it is a hopeless fight. Arguments with my parents, over things as pathetic as how I put plates away, are part of my daily routine. I can set my watch to them.
My school is always dictating my education. Chains, such as rubrics, hinder my creativity, and students who don’t care are the anchors at the end of the chains that drag me down. I feel like I can never work to my full ability.
And then there are my peers. They criticize me in every way possible – from my hobbies to my book choices. For the first time in my life, I feel embarrassed for who I am and what I like. I was even denied a beautiful night at prom when my “friends” all told me they weren’t going. I didn’t go because I had no one to go with, but they all actually went without me. They didn’t want me there. I had a miserable night sitting in my room.
But what if this is how life is supposed to be? What if we are never meant to be in control? I saw this quote, and it really made me question my struggle. It made me wonder if it is even possible to become who I want to be. You can’t control the obstacles thrown at you and the mountains you must climb. The only thing you can control is how you deal with those challenges. It’s not worth the time, energy, and happiness fighting for the wheel. Maybe the best thing to do is just to sit back in the crow’s nest and enjoy the view.
— Nicole, 5.20.18