Dear inCon #4

Dear inCon,

Lately I’ve been having trouble deciding whether it’s wrong and cowardly of me to not want to hear the truth. Is it ever okay for me to believe that the truth just isn't worth knowing or hurting over?

- Tally Vano


Dear Tally,

Thank you for confiding in us. To answer your question, I’d say that yes, it’s okay to believe that the truth isn’t worth hurting over if you suspect that knowing it won’t change the reality of a “dead” situation. By that, I mean to say that everything has already been said and done, and knowing the truth would be a curse as opposed to a remedy. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I don't think the truth is worth it if you honestly believe that living and never knowing will be more bearable than the mental/emotional impact and frustration of knowing just to feel consciously impotent. Sometimes it’s better to trust yourself to know when the truth is destructive and meaningless and a temptation that you may come to regret. Braving the truth isn’t courageous when it doesn’t help you move forward. I guess it’s kind of like how the overly ambitious need to know when to walk away before they lose everything because the gain isn’t always worth the sacrifice. In “the real world,” the truth doesn’t always bring enlightenment, closure, or any kind of meaningful revelation. Especially when the time isn't right. Instead, it burdens us with the knowledge of something we can’t ever escape or appease, so if you're not ready for that, don’t feel burdened to take it on.  

I just hope you remember that even when the truth is hard to hear, there are times when it needs to be heard because it’s silly of us to deceive ourselves when we deserve the chance to be set free. It’s times like these when the truth is worth the fear and pain that you’ll no doubt experience (maybe initially, maybe for a long time).

That said, all of this is ultimately up to you to decide, so I hope you trust yourself to know what you need to hear and what you don’t. You’re not a coward for wanting to protect yourself. Now you’ve just got to decide what that means. The truth will be there when you’re ready, so take your time, and listen carefully to yourself.

Best of luck, Tally!

- Jen